How To Dress Like: Isabella Blow

With Gaga-mania at a fever pitch, it's hard for self referential fashion folk to remember that the highbrow whack-job look was actually patented and paraded by another of the industry's most unattractive leaders, Isabella Blow. The Tatler editor who was equally famous for discovering the likes of Alexander McQueen, Philip Treacy, Stella Tennant and Sophie Dahl, and her penchant for wiry, larger than life headpieces drank her way through a bottle of weed killer in 2007. The way I see it, the fascination with hats was simple enough, she didn’t think she was pretty and I guess if we were all as clever as she, there would be no need for botox – just shrouds, veils, poofs and dye.




Let's attempt to break down some of her most notorious photographed and front-row looks (ed's note: I saw her Chinese garden McQueen hat at the MET during the blogmode exhibit last year and I have to say, it's pretty near an original Da Vinci in my books):

1. Dress pretty normal from neck down. Drop a pretty penny though. Choose something tailored, slightly tight-ass schoolmarm, and most likely McQueen.

2. Look to your left. Grab the first object you see and put it on your head. A plate is fine, a mug would be better. A pack of cigs... even better.

3. If that don't feel hardcore enough for you, go searching for a plant or a live animal (a lobster preferably, as long as it's not slaughtered near Snookie).

This is actually a pretty historically relevant so extra points for you! (aristocratic women in the late 1890's - early 1900's wore full animals on top of their hats, raccoons, birds, rodents... oy vey!)

4. Tulle, chicken wire, or bubble wrap handy? Perfect veil material...

5. We're almost done, but let's not forget the finishing touches... know an up and coming totally brill artist-cum-designer, designer-cum-artist, rich boy-turned-rebel or rebel-turned poor boy?

Introduce them to your high flying life by bringing them to the castle of your friend, the Duchess.

6. Finally, stay away from pills and pesticides... we can't afford to lose another of fashion's greatest visionary whack jobs.

How To Dress Like: Anna Piaggi

With all the recent and frankly, omnipresent focus on Anna Wintour's ability to cooly reign it all in, I can't help but be thankful that there will always be an antithesis to her brand of austerity. Don't get me wrong, I worship a calculating brilliance like any other, but when I can barely manage to put on a bra in the morning that's when I think of Anna Piaggi, the famed mascot of Vogue Italia who is never dressed in anything but head-to-toe costume.

With her penchant for hair dye (she currently sports a light blue bob), cartoonish hats and bright sneakers – she’s who imagine Lewis Carroll would have fantasized about, had there not been so many little girls around…



In true 'How to Dress Like' fashion, let's break down her look!


Step 1: Obviously you’d need to dye your hair. Blue, green, pink or white would do. If this is merely a one day excursion into wild dressing, I suggest colored hairspray...does the trick and goes down the drain as easily as it was sprayed on.

Step 2: Take some lipstick and draw and big circle on one cheek…

Step 3: A strong lip is also quite important to Piaggi's look, feel free to experiment with brights...pink, red or orange work best.

Step 4: If you know any midgets, steal their hats. In the likely event that you don't (unlike Liz Lemon on that episode of 30 Rock!), I suggest a Petit Beret or a Chapeau Claudette!

Step 5: While you can cover them in newspaper to replicate this first look, you might want to keep them as is, for wacky variation's sake.

Step 6: Collect as many newspapers as you can. Tape a few together and then proceed to tape them to your body.

Step 7: Do you have a plate handy? It would make a perfect medallion on necklace, don't you think?

Step 8: Now cover one shoulder with a cape, a table cloth, hell, even the drapes.

Step 9: to further accessorize this look, take a look around your room and grab the first inanimate object you see...lampshade, wine bottle - anything goes! If you can figure out how to attach them to your outfit, then a tiny bowler hat off to you.

Step 10: Take a gym-class stretch around the room. If you don't break any immediate objects then it's off to Margiela with you! BRAVO!

How To Dress Like: Grace Jones

Grace Jones’ intensely angular cheekbones and robotic island voice may have been a club culture force in the 80’s, but her fashion freak flag is what I personally like to think of as her best asset (other than her 5’11 statuesque bod that is…) On and off-stage, Grace found some sort of balance between techno, tribal and disco...and you’ve gotta love her for that.


I'm going to attempt to break down one of Grace's most cracktastic looks...

Step 1. Keith Haring isn’t available for body painting anymore so you’ll need the next best thing – I’d suggest getting a bit tipsy with your best Katie Gal and have her draw some majorly swirly and large lines all over your arms and legs. (kind of like when Tracy Jordan draws a tattoo on his face with washable crayolas in the first season of 30 Rock)

Step 2. Make sure you have some skivvies on and your most Madonna/Gaultier-esque bra!

Step 3. Find out where you can get some wiring. Anything that’s bendy. This would be a positive way of recycling the land line you no longer use...

Step 4. Twirl and twist them as many times as you can...and then glue them to your underwear and bra. And while you might like playing with craft glue, you might need something a bit more severe...

Step 5. Got any old shmatas lying around that you are okay with getting rid of? Cut and rip these puppies to shreds...

Step 6. Feel free to braid, tape, entangle, color the shreds...anything really! Now hang and droop them onto your undies, anywhere and everywhere!

Step 7. Now, enlist your 1st grade cousin to make a headdress for you. It doesn't really matter what it looks like – more is more! (But hey, if they happen to
have recently completed a unit on Natives and/or
totem poles...that might work to your advantage...)

Step 8. Cut a branch off the first pine tree you can find and proceed to picky pick! (I know it might get sticky but it smells great!)

Step 9. Now take some of those candies that look like little bananas and bead them onto the pines (I mean, I'd never get this far..it's just too much work...) - if you can get some sort of jewellery piece out of this you are a genius!

Et voila! Tribal boogie freak chic!

How To Dress Like: Edie Beale

We’d all agree that having a modicum of a fashion sense would involve a bit of marching to the beat of your own drum…but that shit gets tiring! Sometimes it really is easier to throw on a sweatshirt and call it a day. It’s still cold outside. In these times of need, though – all you need is a bit of a reminder that looking weird is fun!



Just take a que from Little Edie, who if you don't already know (how can you live!) was the sickest dressing spinster to ever live. Once the most popular debutante of New York high society, Edie ended up living a Cinderella-esqe existence with her overbearing mother (Big Edie…naturally) in a dilapidating mansion cohabited by cats and raccoons in East Hampton. Though barely any of her outfits actually resembled real garments, Edie was pretty clear about what she did and didn’t like.

Because Edie's magpie look actually fuels that 'I just want to frolick in the grass' spring fever we've all been feeling - I've broken her look down into 5 easy steps!


Step 1: Grab a towel, sheet or sweater – wrap it around you face and tie the ends behind your neck (if you are using a sweater…just stick your face straight through the neck hole and tie similarly)






Step 2: Grab a massive brooch (the bigger and sparklier the better) – pin it either on-top of your head or at the base of your neck







Step 3: Break out a bathing-suit or a leotard (avoid 80’s colours though…that’s not really what she was about) and even though its still cold - who gives a shit…






Step 4: If you have a sarong, great! If not…a scarf will do. Now wrap it around your legs and pin it or tuck it into the leg of your suit (a trick I picked up on Halloween…)







Step 5: Simple, wide flats (a tad of a heel is good!) are essential to Edie’s look – she was a deb, after all.






Et voila! Dilapidated Hampton's Chic!