Babe of the Biweekly: Everyone in the new Beastie Boys video

Welcome back to Babe of the Biweekly, the far from biweekly section where I like to talk about my semi strange crushes on old men, ugly weirdos and the like. This week, I bring you the most babe infused 30 minutes (or 5 if you prefer the shortened version) of your/my life via the Beastie Boys' video for their new single "Make Some Noise."

The self-mocking parody mini movie has Elijah Wood (childhood crush babe) playing Ad-Rock (bad ass Jew babe), Seth Rogen (formerly fat Jew babe) playing Mike D (semi babe) and Danny McBride (ok, non babe) playing MCA (skinny/survivor babe) and just about everyone from Jason Schwartzman (big-nosed Jew megababe) to Steve Buscemi (ugly weirdo babe), Ted Danson (silver fox babe), Orlando Bloom (obvious babe), Will Arnett (another obvious and also hilarious Gob-playing Toronto-born babe), David Cross (not really a babe but also Tobias Funke so all in all, babe) to Chloë Sevigny (ultimate girl crush babe) playing absurd bit parts.

Elijah Wood being in this little bit is especially tantalizing to me considering that I used to have the largest size pre-Frodo crush on him EVER from like grade 3-5. Like trading his posters for ones of J.T.T became what I was known and well liked for. (Those girls were idiots though, like how could this not give them a lady-boner? Zo zexy!) I saw him a few years ago at a gallery opening in New York and totally skeeved him out by telling him he was my first boyfriend. But hey, grade 4 was calling.

Elijah Wood as Ad-Rock. Babe x2.

Steve Buscemi as the angry curmudgeony waiter.Ted Danson as the host. The silver babealicious host.
Chloë Sevigny as an LSD'd-up groupie.

Will Arnett as the Wall Streeter.

Babe of the Biweekly? Vincent Gallo

Not to distract from my reaaaally up to date Fashion Week(s) commentary but Robin was talking about Buffalo 66 yesterday, which totally brought back my long time feelings of love and hate towards the actor/part-time singer/pseudo-artist/filmmaker/sperm-seller/narcissist, Vincent Gallo.

Aesthetically, the man is just what I like: part Pre-Raphaelite, part reformed criminal. Artistically, the man utterly captivates on screen (even when he tells Chloe to suck it in no uncertain terms) and in tune (haven't heard When? buy it!) It's really his larger than life douchebag persona that gets me going (in more ways than one!)...

Aside from hustling his own services on his website (while politely refusing to sleep with women of color and specifying that he'd like to impregnate Jewish women - oh wait, that's me!) and constantly working his own penis into any script he writes... it's what I like to think of as trying to 'pull the wool' that peeves me the most. I had the lucky chance to interview Vinny a few times last year over Fashion Week in New York and he had quite a few pearls to share about New Yorkers who discuss variations of the color white, Rodarte not being stuck in the mental world and fashion shows not being confused with portraits. (I would quote him directly but I'm scared he'll find out and attack!... he has been known to do such things)... I was lucky I was able to hold my tongue and not give him a piece of my mind slash tell him to call me!

So what do you guys? Should Vinny suck it? Or would... well, would you...?

Babe of the Biweekly: Pete Campbell

I'd like to preface this post by saying two things. 1. Okay, so what if Babe of the Biweekly is turning into a 'whenever I feel like it' kind of post. 2. Don Draper clearly owns the 'Babe of Mad Men' title, but sometimes you've just got to point out the little guy. Ok, so let's get back to business... is it just me or do you find Pete Campbell (played by Vincent Kartheiser) to be kind of a babe? Maybe it's his odd proclivity for steel blue suits, his baby face, his awkwardly romantic gestures towards Peggy or the way he danced with Trudy at Sterling's party, but his constantly ridiculous behaviour which at first repulsed me has totally got me crushing!

I originally was rooting for Kinsey, but then I realized he was just a self-important loser. Then I thought maybe okay, Harry... but then he was so pathetic after cheating on his wife that I was just like ugh... Ah yes, it took a while for the man in blue to catch my eye but let me just say: if I was a German nanny who'd stained a dress by accident, I'd totally be okay with my neighbor buying me a new one and then blocking my door so I couldn't get out! Eww! Aww!

Babe of the Biweekly: Dustin Hoffman

Us Katie Girls have a tendency to be picky with the opposite sex...but once we fall in love, we fall hard, fast and are over it in a minute. Since it's quite possible that this cycle can reoccur daily, we thought it'd be fun to share some of the apples of our eyes, whether past, present, fictional or otherwise.

I've always thought Dustin Hoffman was a total babe and so I thought he was a fitting kickoff to a section that will probably only feature fairly awkward looking nerds. I was watching Kramer vs. Kramer (so great!) earlier this week and I was reminded that everything from his shortness to his constantly high-pitched way of talking to his Jew shnoz turns my crank. I should probably should insert that Robin isn't really riding the Dustin train, but I suppose that's because he doesn't look like he threw up his dinner....